DISCLAIMER: If you have a weak stomach or don't like to talk about poop, please don't read this post!
Being a mom is gross. Between the tar-like poop you have to practically use battery acid to remove from their butts as infants, the concrete-esque boogers you have to suck out of their noses, being peed - pooped - vomited and sneezed on and the kicker...handing me (more like spitting out) chewed up items he doesn't want to swallow, being a mom is gross.
Now, since I'm the "95% of the time" parent in our house, I get dubbed the expert in all of these experiences, and can easily cross any bodily function being on me off my bucket list (if that's something people would even want to track on a bucket list - but as a parent this is a given).
X had a bout of diarrhea a few months back and I had to explain to him, "If you feel like you have to fart, please sit on the toilet so we don't poop in your pants again, ok?" (yes AGAIN, that was a long day/night with many loads of laundry). Gross.
This past weekend, X had a minor stomach bug. Since he is a bright child, I think he remembered what his stomach felt like then because on Saturday morning he woke up and said, "I think I should fart on the toilet because my butt is steaming!" "Ok then. Gross." Sure enough he had some diarrhea. I immediately switched to water and crackers and after a few it seemed to subside. Wrong.
Once my husband got home, we went out to breakfast and the first vomiting episode came with. Again, thankfully X is a bright kid and knew his stomach was upset and needed to get to the bathroom, however, the vomit disagreed and it arrived just outside the bathroom door. "Eww. Yuk."
Upon arriving home (husband was in the bed before I could get X's jacket off - knocked out cold) the diarrhea continued and after a trip to the store for some Pedialite I thought we were going to be in the clear...boy was I wrong! X made it to the toilet to "fart" and next thing I hear is SPLAT! "OMG - it's coming out both ends!!! YUK!!"
As I frantically grabbed for a bucket and raced back to the bathroom, I stubbed my toe on the corner of the kitchen, whacked my elbow on the back of a chair and stepped right in the vomit on the bathroom floor. "THIS IS SO GROSS!! Being a mom is SO gross!"
After I got done with my brief moment of self-pity, I looked up and saw my son sitting on the toilet, bare legs dangling from the toilet and head in the biggest plastic bucket I could find - my heart sank and immediately felt so bad for my baby. Standing there with vomit on my feet I comforted X, got him cleaned up (a quick shower and brushed teeth) and off to the couch we went for some good, old-fashioned TV "crack-out" on Spongebob.
Item crossed off my "parenting" bucket list: First "coming out both ends" experience.
The Ups & Downs of Raising My Son, Dating & Staying Sane Through it All!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Methafast Withdrawls
One thing I've always battled is my weight and my view of what my "ideal" weight should be. If you look at any height/weight chart, a 6'0" woman should be between 146-184. Well that's quite the range and could we be more vague!?! I'm at a healthy weight right now (184), but not as low as I had gotten with Medifast. I've been feeling like "will I EVER get back to my lowest weight on my own?" The real question needs to be..."do I NEED to get back down to my lowest weight?" Maybe, maybe not --- jury's still out.
As we were on our way to my nephew's birthday party this weekend, I was feeling very jiggly, bloated and thunder-thigh-ish and Phil asked, "what's wrong?" Open flood gates!! As I tried to explain to him how unsuccessful I was feeling he said, "ah, I see, you're having Methafast withdrawls." WHAT?!? Apparently, he compared Medifast to Meth since I lost so much weight so fast. But he did follow that up with a lovely compliment, so I'll take it! :) I think he might be onto something however (don't tell him I said that). Since I did hit my goal weight and know what Medifast can do, I'm feeling like "why can't I do the same thing with real food and exercise. Maybe I should go back on the program?" But I'm certain I'd start this cycle all over again, like a real addiction. As I'm trying to cope with this addiction to losing weight and finding a way to be "ok" in my own skin, here is the back story of why I'm in this place....
Before I got pregnant with X, I was nowhere near the "ideal" weight range and to be honest I hadn't seen a weight in this range since my Jr year in college. After X was born, I lost what I put on during pregnancy (30 pounds), but was still 50-60 pounds away from "ideal". I farted around with exercise and diet for a while and then got really serious. I bought Opraph's trainers' book (Bob Greene I believe) and used that to kick it into gear. I lost 20 pounds doing that and then switched to straight calorie counting and exercise. I lost another 12 pounds doing that. Then I hit the dreaded plateau. I was beating my head against a wall trying to figure out why I couldn't get the last 25 pounds off. That's when I was introduced to Take Shape for Life (aka Medifast). My mom was on the program and was seeing incredible success. I thought, "What the hell! I'll give it a go, get the weight off and then maintain that goal weight. Simple." Yeah right!! Getting it off with Take Shape for Life was simple. It was easy and fast, just like they said. I hit my goal of 170 --- for a day, but I was doing way more physical activity than I was fueling my body for. The 900 calories a day was far too little for all the Zumba I was doing (which was 3 days a week at that time). So I decided to transition from Take Shape for Life on my own (not how you should do it by the way) and that didn't work well...at all! The weight quickly went back on (with the help of the holidays).
As I saw the weight go back on I knew I needed to do something, something less expensive than Take Shape for Life and something that would allow me to eat normal food so I could enjoy meal times with X and my husband (which are rare times). I joined Weight Watchers about a month ago. I haven't seen any real loss on the progam as of yet, but I think I'm still stuck in Methafast withdrawls and not taking it seriously.
So here I am, proclaiming my full 110% dedication to Weight Watchers, kicking my Medifast addiction and being ok with where I am now and having a goal of getting back down closer to my goal and staying there ---- on my own.
Salud!
T
As we were on our way to my nephew's birthday party this weekend, I was feeling very jiggly, bloated and thunder-thigh-ish and Phil asked, "what's wrong?" Open flood gates!! As I tried to explain to him how unsuccessful I was feeling he said, "ah, I see, you're having Methafast withdrawls." WHAT?!? Apparently, he compared Medifast to Meth since I lost so much weight so fast. But he did follow that up with a lovely compliment, so I'll take it! :) I think he might be onto something however (don't tell him I said that). Since I did hit my goal weight and know what Medifast can do, I'm feeling like "why can't I do the same thing with real food and exercise. Maybe I should go back on the program?" But I'm certain I'd start this cycle all over again, like a real addiction. As I'm trying to cope with this addiction to losing weight and finding a way to be "ok" in my own skin, here is the back story of why I'm in this place....
Before I got pregnant with X, I was nowhere near the "ideal" weight range and to be honest I hadn't seen a weight in this range since my Jr year in college. After X was born, I lost what I put on during pregnancy (30 pounds), but was still 50-60 pounds away from "ideal". I farted around with exercise and diet for a while and then got really serious. I bought Opraph's trainers' book (Bob Greene I believe) and used that to kick it into gear. I lost 20 pounds doing that and then switched to straight calorie counting and exercise. I lost another 12 pounds doing that. Then I hit the dreaded plateau. I was beating my head against a wall trying to figure out why I couldn't get the last 25 pounds off. That's when I was introduced to Take Shape for Life (aka Medifast). My mom was on the program and was seeing incredible success. I thought, "What the hell! I'll give it a go, get the weight off and then maintain that goal weight. Simple." Yeah right!! Getting it off with Take Shape for Life was simple. It was easy and fast, just like they said. I hit my goal of 170 --- for a day, but I was doing way more physical activity than I was fueling my body for. The 900 calories a day was far too little for all the Zumba I was doing (which was 3 days a week at that time). So I decided to transition from Take Shape for Life on my own (not how you should do it by the way) and that didn't work well...at all! The weight quickly went back on (with the help of the holidays).
As I saw the weight go back on I knew I needed to do something, something less expensive than Take Shape for Life and something that would allow me to eat normal food so I could enjoy meal times with X and my husband (which are rare times). I joined Weight Watchers about a month ago. I haven't seen any real loss on the progam as of yet, but I think I'm still stuck in Methafast withdrawls and not taking it seriously.
So here I am, proclaiming my full 110% dedication to Weight Watchers, kicking my Medifast addiction and being ok with where I am now and having a goal of getting back down closer to my goal and staying there ---- on my own.
Salud!
T
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