Confessions of a Single Mom

SOA & Born to Raise a Boy

2012-01-23T12:20:00.000-08:00

This post requires a bit of an intro, so please bear with me (but I'm sure if you are a return reader, you know I don't really get to the point quickly - and for that I'm sorry). LOL!! :)

Let me first start by saying this...if you haven't seen the TV show Sons of Anarchy I STRONGLY urge you to stop what you are doing (well of course after you finish reading this amazing blog entry) and subject yourself to the show ASAP! When I first heard about the show from J he was telling me about "Outlaw Tuesdays" and this show SOA. Guns, drugs, sex, violence, power-struggle, betrayal, family loyalty and motorcycle gangs. :| I thought, "Um, seriously!? Why would I want to watch a show like that?!? I'm a Sex and the City kind of gal." But because it was early on when J and I were still just getting to know each other, I humored him and told him I'd watch an episode with him. [You're right babe - one of the best shows ever!]. We turned on OnDemand and watched an episode, I believe it was smack-dab in the middle of Season 4. I was lost and confused, but admittedly curious to see more. J hooked me up with NetFlix so I could start from Season 1. Immediately hooked is an understatement. I'm pretty sure I watched almost ALL of Season 1 in one sitting. I was up until the wee hours of the morning just to see what happens next (and this is exactly why I don't read to fall asleep - doesn't work). From a critic point of view, it has excellent acting, writing, great story line, superior cast, suspense and drama to keep you coming back for more. From a female point of view - O.M.G. ...eye-candy galore!! It's sexy, dirty and sort of makes you feel wrong for watching, but like a train wreck...you can't look away...I love it!

J and I just finished catching up on Season 3, and (now please bear with me) there was a scene of the main character making out with - what he doesn't know is - his half sister. Well, both the moms walk in and catch them, walk out and decide they need to tell them they are related. The scene cuts to the girl and her mom. The girl is shocked, crying and, being a girl myself I know, she was filling her mind with all the "what if's", "how could you's" and "what will everyone think's". She's crying and wanting to know why? The scene cuts again to the guy and his mom and it's this hilarious moment of "dang mom, I almost did it with my sister!" He's kinda giggling and they share this funny mother/son moment. As I sat on the couch watching these two scenes I thought to myself, "This is exactly why I am thankful I'm raising a boy. I don't think I could deal with that other situation." Wrong, I know. Again, just how I'm wired. ;)

I knew from the moment I started thinking about having children I hoped I would have a boy. Now, don't get me wrong, I think just about every woman wants to have a little girl so you can do the cute hair, tu-tu's, dresses, shoes - all that girlie stuff (don't lie to yourselves ladies...you know you do... and that OK...I still do on some level). I would think about what it would be like to raise a version of ME and to try to help a girl get through all of what life holds as a girl and I knew there was NO WAY I'd be able to succeed at that. When I found out I was having a boy, I was so relieved. Now, there was (and still are) moments of panic..."I don't know what to do with a boy! I don't want to raise a ninny! I don't know much about boy stuff! Am I doing this right?" But as the days/weeks/months/years pass, I learn new stuff about raising a boy daily. I'm becoming a master of Transformers, knowledgeable in all things dinosaurs, learning to cook/clean/go to the bathroom while dodging Nerf bullets and trying not to question what substance is on his hands - just insist he washes them, brushes his teeth, flushes the toilet and don't run with your pants around your ankles.

I think the Universe/God/Fate (you pick one, or add your own depending on your beliefs) knows what you are cut out to do and will give you just that. I believe I was born to raise a boy.

I always say, "Everyday I don't kill him or let him kill himself is a successful day as a parent!"

Salud,
T

SOPA & PIPA (No, not the yummy fried dessert at Mexican Resturants)

2012-01-18T09:13:00.000-08:00

IMPORTANT - Please read!

I feel this is a good forum to post this information as these bills will affect those of use who blog and use the Internet for personal and business use. After this post, my blog will be silent during this protest as well as my Facebook page, my Pinterest activity and finally my Pandora radio. These are all the ways I use the Internet in my personal life - all of which will be affected by these bills.

On Jan 24th, Congress will vote to pass internet censorship in the Senate, even though the vast majority of Americans are opposed. We need to kill the bill - PIPA in the Senate and SOPA in the House - to protect our rights to free speech, privacy, and prosperity.

You can make your voice heard in a number of ways, here are some links to websites that are circulating online petitions for these bills:

http://sopastrike.com/strike/
https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

You can also email your local congressperson and voice your concern with them directly as well. You can locate your local congressperson via this website too (can you now see how important the Internet is in our lives):

http://house.gov/htbin/findrep

I hope you all will join me - you found me on the Internet, I'm sure you use it daily. Don't let your right to a free and open Internet be taken from you.

Cheers!

Pinterest-mantic

2012-01-16T12:46:00.000-08:00

About a month ago, I was introduced to Pinterest. At first I was like, "Whatever, just another place like Etsy to see all the cute crafty people doing cute craft things. I'm not crafty, I'm not interested." Just like with anything else I've poo-pooed, I began to get curiouser and curiouser about this website (that's how my FB habit was formed). So one day I typed the infamous URL into my browser and a new addict was born!

Now let me say this...I've actually used 5 recipes from Pinterest to date, so it really is useful. However, the hours I've wasted to find those recipes and all the other stuff on there...not so useful, but totally addicting (and of course it's NEVER {wink wink} been on work time)! It's like a virtual scrapbook/idea book/cookbook. There is even an app for your mobile devices! You can "pin" just about anything: recipes, home decor ideas, crafts, nail polish, quotes, wedding ideas, baby stuff, design, art, music, videos, fitness, home/office organization ideas, DIY tips/tricks, etc., etc.! I think you sort of get the picture, but you'll never fully understand how awesome it is until you try it. Spoken like a true addict! ;)

--> Start digression here <--

I'm a hopeless romantic. I LOVE love and I LOVE all things that show/express love. I'm certain I'm not alone here as I think many women in general are romantics (I blame Hollywood and all the sappy movies we get blasted with). Showing/expressing love and/or being romantic doesn't have to be an expensive endeavor (although I'd be a fool and a liar if I said flowers, gifts and jewelry aren't important - just not always necessary or the only way to be romantic/show love). Leaving post-its with sweet notes for each other, "thinking of you" texts during the day, calling just to say "HI!", making dinner, warming up my car on a cold day, picking up a card that says how you feel and thinking of me/my needs in the same thought as your own. By the way, for my male readers (if I even have any), you earn "action" points for all of this. So if you want to ensure a little bedroom mambo, drop a few of these on your special lady and I can just about 100% guarantee it will happen! You're Welcome! :)

--> End digression <--

-->Start point of this post <--

The one thing I've found oddly fascinating about Pinterest is all the "wedding" boards ladies out there are making. They are pinning wedding dresses, engagement rings, flowers, centerpieces, invitations, hair ideas, bridesmaid dresses, etc., etc. and many of these women are not even engaged or in a relationship for that matter. At first I was like, "WTF!?! You are planning a wedding already?! Jeez, I feel for that poor guy when you meet him." I found myself sitting and shaking my head in full shock and judgement. I know you might think...I have this reaction because I'm jaded about marriage/weddings given my current life events, but I'm really not. I still fully believe in marriage and would love to be a wife again some day (just with a better other half/partner in the deal).

About a week ago, J and I were on the couch watching TV and a commercial come on (don't remember what it was for) and J made a comment about how expensive weddings are and he'd never spend all that money again on another wedding - the court house is good enough. I replied with a knee jerk reaction of, "Yeah, no kidding, totally a waste." [Sorry babe, I sorta lied.] I think the hopeless romantic deep down in me would like to make the next wedding special with a dress, flowers and a small group of close friends & family, but I've come to realize that maybe a big, lavish wedding isn't what I'd want to do again. I can't help it, just the way I'm wired....romantic, sappy & uber-girlie.

So, I want to apologize to all the ladies out there with wedding boards full of beautiful pins for that special day. Dare to dream! Dream big and I hope your beautiful day comes with all your "pins" realized! :)

Pinterest-mantics (Pinterest Romantics) Unite!

But I'm still not creating a board for it.

XO,
T

Facial Hair & The "Dirty 30's"

2012-01-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

After the response to my post from yesterday, I wanted to say thank you to everyone that commented and all the new readers (including J - he reads this now too). [Hi babe!] Thank you! I truly do enjoy writing and my life gives me plenty of material to write about. :)

In an effort to keep writing, I woke up this morning pondering my life and what could I write about and share. I'd like to add to the blog more often and I think starting a number of posts as soon as I have an idea and elaborating on them at different times might be a way to start. I can say, I know I don't have a shortage of ideas/material.

So, as I did the normal naked bathroom waltz before hopping in the shower....Ok, you know...stand in the mirror naked, turn the the right and suck your gut in, turn to the left and suck it in, maybe push it out just to get a giggle. Pull your face skin back and think "is this how I used to look?" and then scrunch it all up and think "is this how I'll look 10 years from now?" (You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about - don't act like you don't). Then you lean in nice and close to the mirror and look at your skin. That's when the tweezers come out and all the stray hairs that you search out come under attack. I digress...I'm in the bathroom with tweezers in hand and I think to myself, "Man, getting older kinda stinks. I mean, WTF is up with my face now growing hair!?! All over!! Effing hormones and getting old!" :| (<-- For future reference, this is my "I'm not impressed" face. I like it and I use it a lot).

But then another thought came to mind, I guess getting older isn't too bad. I mean, my 30's are FAR better than my 20's in so many ways. 1.) I'm much more confident in who I am as a woman than I was in my 20's. 2.) I've become a mother yet still get to have a career and now a new/fresh personal life. 3.) I have fewer friends than I did in my 20's, but my friends now are more genuine and like family in my 30's. You know the other part that ROCKS about my 30's? The "Dirty 30's"! They aren't a myth!! It's pretty awesome and I'm starting to kinda dig it. At first I thought something was wrong, but then I realized this was it - I had officially hit my dirty 30's (I'm 34 FYI). SWEET!

Shortly after that was another thought..."Damn! This is how men in their 20's must feel...daily! Hourly! Every dang minute! How do they get through a day without thinking about sex?!?" I guess that explains why many of the guys I knew in my 20's behaved the way they did. I get it now, sorry for judging you all. It's a wonder I can get through a day sometimes without just screaming, "I just need to get laid!!" I'm sure my co-workers are happy I don't, so I'll try to keep it under control or at least at home. [Lucky for you J!]

So here's to the "Dirty 30's" and all the other great things (not including the facial hair) that come with being in my 30's!

Cheers!
T

Dating 101 & Kissing Frogs

2012-01-09T12:21:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying, if anyone reading this is offended by the fact that I'm dating and not yet technically divorced, please put your blinders back on and stop reading now. No offense will be taken.

But, if you find humor in other peoples epicfails...keep on reading! ;)

First off, I never really dated, so this is my first voyage into that world. I met my ex in college when I was 18 (yup, 18 - epicfail #1). He was all of the things that were the opposite of what I thought people expected me to look for in a guy - so of course I was immediately smitten. Well, smitten turned to love and love turned to marriage (for the sake of time, we won't rehash the rest from there, but as you know 14 years later it didn't turn out so great).

What I'm finding is that dating is interesting. It's interesting on a number of levels. I think the most interesting thing about it is how different it is in our 30's than it was in our 20's and the thing that makes it so different is technology. Anyone under the age of 28 reading this, I'm certain you can't relate, but when I was in my first year of college, we didn't have cell phones. GASP! There was no texting or even Facebook to keep in touch. We had to call a home phone, if that person wasn't there you had to leave a message either with a roommate or on an answering machine. You then more than likely had to wait ALL DAY for a return call. It was just how it was and the crazy internal dialog didn't really happen because instant gratification of communication wasn't a "norm".

These days, if you send a text and you don't hear back within 15-20 minutes, panic ensues and the internal dialog goes something a bit like this:

"Did he get it?"

"Did I say something wrong?"

"Why isn't he answering me?"

"Maybe he seeing someone else!"

"Is he seeing someone else?"

"Is he avoiding me?"

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Am I too pushy?"

"Do I seem needy?"

...and so on and so on.

This internal dialog doesn't seem to go away. It becomes less intense as I've dated, but it's still there. Learning to accept that I'm AWESOME and someone will want to be with me is still something I'm working on and I'm getting better at it.**

When I made the decision to start dating I thought "How in the HELL am I supposed to meet anyone?!?! I don't go out, I'm a single full-time working mom." So, as many Americans are doing these days, I turned to online dating. It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it has added to my 'Dating is Interesting' statement from earlier. It's fun, but exhausting. Very exhausting!

I was out to dinner with a friend from college recently and I explained online dating to her is like online shopping. You get to preview your purchases (aka: matches) before you buy (aka: start communicating). You get to try them out (aka: go on a date or two) before you decide to keep them (aka: start dating). If they pinch in the toe a bit (aka: are any of the following types of guys - see below), you send them back and try again!

In my experience so far, it's mostly been a long string of guys that earned themselves nicknames and taught me what I do/don't want. The reason for this is that there was just "something" about each one that sent up those red flags that I knew they weren't going to stick around for long. Here are some of the epicfails I've had since starting to date:

The "Fred Durst" Saint

The "I have 2 kids, but just found out about a set of twins I fathered" Guy

The Architect

The Do-gooder Superhero

The Tastebud Tester

The Tractor Wine Tasting Guy

The Liar

The Marine
The "I'm actually getting back together with my girlfriend 24 hours after telling you I want to get with you" Guy

The Hood River Creeper

There are a number of one-dater's in there that just didn't even get a chance to earn a nickname, they came and went just that quickly. I think you can now see how this can become exhausting. Each of these guys come with a great story of their own, but I'd be writing a book if I went into details on each one.

If there's a lesson to be learned from all of this...don't give up! You have to kiss a LOT of frogs ladies and gents. There are far more "nickname" types out there than keepers. But don't give up! Learn and live through me for a while if you need to before you get out there and kiss those frogs, but get out there. Life is too short to settle for being alone. We are all damaged/broken/scared in one way or another. We can either live in those fears and regrets or we can wipe the slate clean and find our happily ever after!

Cheers!

**I can happily report that I've met an AMAZING guy. J and I met online in early October and it's been wonderful! We're taking it slow and it's great. He's awesome and makes me smile daily! :D

Being Bigger is Exhausting!

2011-11-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

Alright folks...get your minds out of the gutter! ;)

In life, I've generally always taken the high road, bit my tongue and been the bigger person. It's served me well. I've felt that if you give someone enough rope, they'll hang themselves...no dirty work needed. ;) I usually feel better knowing that I didn't stoop to their level, simply let it go and let karma do the rest. But let me just say this, being the bigger person is utterly EXHAUSTING!

I was faced with this challenge yesterday and sadly, I let myself sink to that level. I was tired of not responding, I was tired of stuffing my feelings about the issue and I was certainly tired of eating my emotions (I've been doing extra running just to counter act the eating of my emotions lately). I have feelings, opinions and right to voice them - I wanted my feelings to be heard, although I'm sure they fell on deaf ears, but damn it felt good!!

The worst part of all of this is now the regret I feel for having let loose with the emotional tidal wave. I should have kept my mouth shut. I don't know what ripple effect my wave caused on the other end, but I hope and pray it didn't seep out onto my son. As I sit here riddled with guilt that I might have caused a backlash, I Googled some advice. This what I found:

"If we are divorced with children, we will be in some sort of a relationship with our ex’s forever. To that end, we must do whatever we can to create a relationship that will nurture and support our children. We must learn to let go of grudges that get in the way of co-parenting. A toxic relationship leaks all over the place. Our children are incredibly perceptive. They know what is going on between the two of you even if you do your best to hide it. ...You may not see the rewards of your sacrifices today or even in the next few years but they will come sooner or later. Usually later. If you think that you have made some mistakes, clean up the mess. Let your kids know that you have learned a great deal and are the wiser for it today. They will come to know in their own time that life does not always go as planned and our experiences hold hidden treasures."

Good advice, easier said than done.

So I made a mess yesterday with my emotional outburst. Now I have to clean this up, find a new common and civil ground and attempt to move forward again...as the bigger person. I just hope not literally a BIGGER person if I keep eating my emotions to remain the "bigger person."

It Takes A Village

2011-11-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

Being a mom is hard. Being a married mom is hard. Being a stay at home mom is hard. Being a single, full-time employed, overachieving, type-A, socially active mom is downright the most difficult thing I’ve EVER done.

Some days I look at my life and I think, “how the HELL did I end up here and how the HELL am I going to do this on my own?!?” I had a very big wake-up call about my life last night when one of my BFF’s came over for dinner.

SIDE NOTE: X is THRILLED to be back in the house!! He wanted me to cover his eyes and surprise him with his room. He sat in there for the entire time dinner was being prepared playing with every single toy he could get his hands on! The look in his eyes (a cross between happiness to be home and sadness that it was just the two of us – no dad) was priceless, heartwarming and heartbreaking all at the same time.

As we finished preparing dinner, it was late and past X’s bed time. He went to his room to get his PJ’s on and the nightly battle over staying focused to get dressed began. Just as I was about to lose my cool, my friend jumped in and helped him focus and complete the task at hand…“get your damn PJ’s on!”

I realized at that moment how CRITICAL it is to have two actively involved adults/parents raising a child. I was overcome with emotion at how hard this has been and how much easier it would be if I had someone else helping. I also realized how much help I really have at my fingertips, I just need to swallow my pride for a fricken minute and ask for it. I have some amazingly wonderful people in my life that are here for me and I need to get better at asking for it.

I want to put a shout out to my “Village”:

Thank you.

Thank you for being there in a moment when you probably don’t even realize how much of a life saver you are being.

Thank you for being there without a single question or hesitation.

Thank you for loving my son and me unconditionally and looking past my assholeness at times.

Thank you for being my rock to lean on when the path is too hard at times.

Thank you!

Love,

10 Whole Days!

2011-10-27T13:52:00.000-07:00

Five months ago, I was the stereotypical frazzled single mom that did everything, went everywhere, cleaned everything, cooked nothing (microwaved everything) and found very little time to myself. I wished many times that I could just have a few days to myself to do what I wanted to do, not be at the beck and call of my son (remember - I was married, sure, but still did it all alone). After my life changed, I experienced my first 3 days kid free. I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. I had just moved into a condo and was all settled, so there I sat...on the couch staring at the TV (SpongeBob I'm quite certain since that's what I'm programmed to look for on TV these days) and thinking, "Is this REALLY the way I'm going to spend my kid free time?!?!"

Well, those days have long passed. I've found LOTS of ways to stay busy when X is with his dad. As I mentioned earlier, I've taken up running (again, more on that later), dating (yes, I said dating - pick your jaw up off the floor - a woman has needs) and spending time with my kid-less friends (love you!!) and co-workers (you guys rock!). HOWEVER, this past Sunday marked the first of 10 days X will be with his dad for "vacation". TEN WHOLE DAYS!?! This is the longest I've been away from X since he was born (5 very quick years ago). Luckily I have another moving expedition to keep me busy!

I'm moving back into my house! So excited and overwhelmed all at the same time. For those of you that know me, I'm NOT a home remodel/repair/maintenance/fixer-upper kind of a gal. But desperate times call for desperate measures, so I'm rolling up my sleeves and digging in! I've been painting the house inside all new colors (to reflect the new leaf we'll be turning over living there) and evaluating the condo to sort out how to make this move happen as a one-woman show. I think this picture reflects most clearly how I feel these days.

I owe my mom a HUGE THANK YOU as she's rolled up her sleeves as well and really helped me bust out this painting business. By the way - if anyone needs help painting anytime soon - please God don't ask me!! ;)

I'm aiming for getting the move completed by end of the day tomorrow and looking forward to settling in again and surprising X with the house when I pick him up from daycare. I hope he loves this surprise and is happy to back in his home!

With the move complete, I'm looking forward to spending some kid-less time over the weekend doing fun things like a date to the pumpkin patch, family visiting and getting back to running in preparation for the Turkey Trot!

Love!
T

Welcome to the new and improved blog!

2011-10-19T12:42:00.000-07:00

I know many of you started following my blog a few months back, chronicling my trials and tribulations of being a married, single mom. Ok, maybe "many" is an overstatement (I only have 1 official follower - "THANK YOU FOLLOWER!"), but I do know some of you have read and commented on my adventures and my mis-adventures. I have missed writing about my life, but my life has changed dramatically and until I was back emotionally, I put my blog on hold. Guess what....

I'M BACK!! :)

You may wonder about my life...(if my new blog title isn't clue enough, please feel free to ask, I'm not shy about it, but I don't want to get into all the details)...let me just say, it's still amazing! X keeps me on my toes more than ever before! I'm happy, confident, satisfied, loved, cherished, healthy (I have even taken up running...more on that later) and looking forward to what life has in store for me in the future.

So, let me welcome you to my new and improved blog. I hope you'll continue to read and follow along as I discover what its like to be single in my 30's, how to continue raising one of the most amazing boys on the planet and how to stay sane during all of it!

Cheers!

Bucket List

2011-04-15T15:46:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: If you have a weak stomach or don't like to talk about poop, please don't read this post!

Being a mom is gross. Between the tar-like poop you have to practically use battery acid to remove from their butts as infants, the concrete-esque boogers you have to suck out of their noses, being peed - pooped - vomited and sneezed on and the kicker...handing me (more like spitting out) chewed up items he doesn't want to swallow, being a mom is gross.

Now, since I'm the "95% of the time" parent in our house, I get dubbed the expert in all of these experiences, and can easily cross any bodily function being on me off my bucket list (if that's something people would even want to track on a bucket list - but as a parent this is a given).

X had a bout of diarrhea a few months back and I had to explain to him, "If you feel like you have to fart, please sit on the toilet so we don't poop in your pants again, ok?" (yes AGAIN, that was a long day/night with many loads of laundry). Gross.

This past weekend, X had a minor stomach bug. Since he is a bright child, I think he remembered what his stomach felt like then because on Saturday morning he woke up and said, "I think I should fart on the toilet because my butt is steaming!" "Ok then. Gross." Sure enough he had some diarrhea. I immediately switched to water and crackers and after a few it seemed to subside. Wrong.

Once my husband got home, we went out to breakfast and the first vomiting episode came with. Again, thankfully X is a bright kid and knew his stomach was upset and needed to get to the bathroom, however, the vomit disagreed and it arrived just outside the bathroom door. "Eww. Yuk."

Upon arriving home (husband was in the bed before I could get X's jacket off - knocked out cold) the diarrhea continued and after a trip to the store for some Pedialite I thought we were going to be in the clear...boy was I wrong! X made it to the toilet to "fart" and next thing I hear is SPLAT! "OMG - it's coming out both ends!!! YUK!!"

As I frantically grabbed for a bucket and raced back to the bathroom, I stubbed my toe on the corner of the kitchen, whacked my elbow on the back of a chair and stepped right in the vomit on the bathroom floor. "THIS IS SO GROSS!! Being a mom is SO gross!"

After I got done with my brief moment of self-pity, I looked up and saw my son sitting on the toilet, bare legs dangling from the toilet and head in the biggest plastic bucket I could find - my heart sank and immediately felt so bad for my baby. Standing there with vomit on my feet I comforted X, got him cleaned up (a quick shower and brushed teeth) and off to the couch we went for some good, old-fashioned TV "crack-out" on Spongebob.

Item crossed off my "parenting" bucket list: First "coming out both ends" experience.

Methafast Withdrawls

2011-04-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

One thing I've always battled is my weight and my view of what my "ideal" weight should be. If you look at any height/weight chart, a 6'0" woman should be between 146-184. Well that's quite the range and could we be more vague!?! I'm at a healthy weight right now (184), but not as low as I had gotten with Medifast. I've been feeling like "will I EVER get back to my lowest weight on my own?" The real question needs to be..."do I NEED to get back down to my lowest weight?" Maybe, maybe not --- jury's still out.

As we were on our way to my nephew's birthday party this weekend, I was feeling very jiggly, bloated and thunder-thigh-ish and Phil asked, "what's wrong?" Open flood gates!! As I tried to explain to him how unsuccessful I was feeling he said, "ah, I see, you're having Methafast withdrawls." WHAT?!? Apparently, he compared Medifast to Meth since I lost so much weight so fast. But he did follow that up with a lovely compliment, so I'll take it! :) I think he might be onto something however (don't tell him I said that). Since I did hit my goal weight and know what Medifast can do, I'm feeling like "why can't I do the same thing with real food and exercise. Maybe I should go back on the program?" But I'm certain I'd start this cycle all over again, like a real addiction. As I'm trying to cope with this addiction to losing weight and finding a way to be "ok" in my own skin, here is the back story of why I'm in this place....

Before I got pregnant with X, I was nowhere near the "ideal" weight range and to be honest I hadn't seen a weight in this range since my Jr year in college. After X was born, I lost what I put on during pregnancy (30 pounds), but was still 50-60 pounds away from "ideal". I farted around with exercise and diet for a while and then got really serious. I bought Opraph's trainers' book (Bob Greene I believe) and used that to kick it into gear. I lost 20 pounds doing that and then switched to straight calorie counting and exercise. I lost another 12 pounds doing that. Then I hit the dreaded plateau. I was beating my head against a wall trying to figure out why I couldn't get the last 25 pounds off. That's when I was introduced to Take Shape for Life (aka Medifast). My mom was on the program and was seeing incredible success. I thought, "What the hell! I'll give it a go, get the weight off and then maintain that goal weight. Simple." Yeah right!! Getting it off with Take Shape for Life was simple. It was easy and fast, just like they said. I hit my goal of 170 --- for a day, but I was doing way more physical activity than I was fueling my body for. The 900 calories a day was far too little for all the Zumba I was doing (which was 3 days a week at that time). So I decided to transition from Take Shape for Life on my own (not how you should do it by the way) and that didn't work well...at all! The weight quickly went back on (with the help of the holidays).

As I saw the weight go back on I knew I needed to do something, something less expensive than Take Shape for Life and something that would allow me to eat normal food so I could enjoy meal times with X and my husband (which are rare times). I joined Weight Watchers about a month ago. I haven't seen any real loss on the progam as of yet, but I think I'm still stuck in Methafast withdrawls and not taking it seriously.

So here I am, proclaiming my full 110% dedication to Weight Watchers, kicking my Medifast addiction and being ok with where I am now and having a goal of getting back down closer to my goal and staying there ---- on my own.

Salud!
T

Bendaroos & Fazoodles & Pillow Pets - Oh My!

2011-03-31T09:31:00.000-07:00

This is an oldie, but a goodie and a nice segway into my rant for the day.

So about 6 months ago or so (or maybe even longer as my memories seem to feel like yesterday when they were actually last year), I was in the bathroom flatironing my hair. X walks in and asks, "Momma, what is that?" pointing to the flatiron. "That's my flatiron." He then replies oh so seriously, "Flatirons crush and burn your hair and that's why you need an InStyler." My mouth dropped open and stared at this child in full and utter shock. I just got infomercial-ed by my (at the time) 3 year old. I blame TV and I blame myself. But what's a married single mom to do when we walk in the door at 6:00pm arms full of groceries, gym bags, lunch bags, X's coat, purse and I have a starving 4 year old on my hands immediately diving into the pantry and taking up space while I try to find something that's not frozen for dinner. "GO WATCH TV!!" As he happily skips off to the TV, I then hear the barrage of "I want that!", "Oooh! Mommy, I need that!!" and of course "Sweet! Let's get those!!" coming from the living room. His mind is now full of Bendaroos, Fazoodles and Pillow Pets (just to name a few). I've avoided most of these at all costs (with the exception of the Pillow Pet - courtesy of Santa - I caved).

I now sit here staring at this ad on my Woot! Watcher and think to myself "Do I dare open Pandora's Box of Mighty Beanz?"

Now, some of you following my adventures may say "What the hell is a Mighty Beanz? What the hell is a Bendaroo? WTF IS A FAZOODLE?" Well, I challenge you then dear child-less friends to subject yourself to at least 4 hours of Nickelodeon and you'll be fully versed in what I like to call "Kid-mercials". Before child, I could zone out during a commercial and never be the wiser. But now, I have to not only pay attention to the damn commercials, but also learn the difference between a Bendaroo, a Fazoodle and those stupid aluminum foil circle-thingys that float with a wand.

I still sit here pondering the possibility of bringing Mighty Beanz into our house.

To Mighty Beanz or not to Mighty Beanz, that truly is the question.

Loves!

Welcome and Enjoy!

2011-03-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

So a few select folks followed my blog during my pregnancy. It was written mostly to stay in touch with my family as they were so far away for all the "fun". Here is a link to that one if you want to check it out: http://thekendalltrio.blogspot.com/.

Anywho...as I read over a friends blog last night, I thought "I should be blogging again to keep track of what we are up to these days...maybe X will want to read all about it someday." I'm sure that won't come for a few years (more like 10-15), but since his baby book is still unfinished, might as well start another project left to be unfinished.

Many of the blogs I read come from stay-at-home mom's with multiple children. First off, let me say "I commend and applaud you! But I don't envy you." You seem to find time to raise multiple children, keep a house tidy, cook multiple meals, get to multiple appointments, get to the gym, bank & hair salon and still be "you" in the midst of all of it...and so many of you do it while still looking good! I know...I tried it...I sucked at it, so I went back to work full-time. I love what I do, but what I do is still work. So, this blog is not only a place for me to dump out my random thoughts, rants & raves, tales of the family adventures, but it's also a place for working moms to read about another working mom trying to make it work, keep it altogether and feel sexy at the end of the day just in time to spend 30 minutes with my husband before he heads out to work.

My wonderful husband works the graveyard shift. He loves it...and I try to not complain. So, while he's sleeping between the hours of 2pm & 10pm and working between 10pm & 8am (between 7am-6pm X is in daycare and I'm at work), I'm a married single mom. I make all the drop-off's/pick-up's happen, I schedule all the appointments (while on my break at work, of course), I cook all the meals (or at least microwave them) and still try to find time to get to the gym, bank & hair salon. NOTE: Keeping the house clean isn't even on my radar, there are only so many hours in the day and I do enjoy a full night sleep.

Our family finds time on Sat & Sun to do "Kendall Family Fun Days" as well as attend church, so we do get quality time together, just not quantity. We treasure these times and try to do new and fun things as often as we can. I'll post them here to share as they might help other moms with ideas of things to do (with or without the entire family).

So as this blog grows and my brain dumps become etched in stone (until I chose to delete them), I look forward to capturing my life and time with my family to share with you all!

Cheers!